Yet another...

So, I have not posted in a while, as my life has been rather stagnant (or perhaps just minimal drama or entertaining stories) recently. However, there are two rather small stories or things that struck me as funny the other night...
Both took place on a night out to dinner with my roommate and some of her friends/old roommates from when we lived in provo together about five years ago. The dinner was great, it was fun to see everyone again and I ended up actually getting out of the house on a weeknight and not just to the Garr's, which RARELY happens. At any rate, here ya go...
#1) Parked across the street from Spark (the place we went for dinner in provo, rather fun if you ever want to try it out). Had to cross the street at the cross-walk to get to Spark. Arrive at the cross-walk and push the button. Look up at the "hand/man walking" sign to see when we were allowed to cross and the hand was showing. I realized that the hand looked as though the middle finger had burned out and was giving us the star trek sign with the split fingers. Amusing, I thought to myself, but was talking about something else and so didn't mention it, nor did anyone else (if they even noticed). Cross the street, have dinner, come back to cross the street the other way. That sign is also giving the star trek greeting, and I decide that is rather odd and I comment, "Dude, how weird is that, that hand is totally missing it's middle finger and giving us that strange star trek greeting or something." Ash's friend responds, "Oh ya, that is funny, but how much you wanna bet that somebody put tape over it." I look at him funny and ask, "Really? Why would they do that?" We proceed to cross the street and sure enough, it had been taped. I reply rather sarcastically, "Ha, you totally nailed it, it is taped, and the best part is, they spent the time to tape it and I would have figured they would have at least taped all the fingers but the middle finger." (You know me, always have to take clean amusement to a different level I suppose). To which Ash's friend responds, "ummm, yes, that would be logical, but do you know where we are? that's about as good as jokes get around here." Of course, we were in the heart of zoobieville (no offense to BYU), and for some reason it totally cracked me up. Gotta love the bubble.
#2) We enter the restaurant and while counting up how many of us there are to be seated, the waitress asks, "you here for dinner?" I wanted to say "here's your sign." But instead I looked around, yes, a restaurant (I'm assuming it was for dining) and then at my cell phone to see the time, 6:47pm (normal dinner time) and then noted in my head that this place does not serve alcohol. Hmmmm, nope, we're actually tonight's entertainment,(and as I survey the long square table perfect for dancing) but where are the poles? That's usually what we need to really give the show you guys ordered us for. She looked at me, as I didn't realize it had been a moment of contemplation on my part, when I finally said, "yup, that's right, dinner." Oh man, sometimes it's much better that I don't say the things that go through my head. But, they certainly do crack me up. I mean, I think I'm pretty darn funny.

The whole Valentine's Day thing

I just got forwarded this e-mail with the perfect (though not most politically correct) valentine cartoon to illustrate one of my points.


So, you already know that I'm all about the Christmas holiday and I'm certainly in the "go Christmas" club, but I think I may also be in the "NO Valentine's day" club. Well, perhaps not "NO" in the sense that it shouldn't exist, but just in the sense that it annoys me.
Well, today is the fourth anniversary of my boyfriend and I dating. Ya, he reminded me this morning with his text, which of course I replied saying, "aww, you beat me to it..." but really, had no idea. Well, I do know that it's somewhere around valentine's day, but that's about as close as I get. I don't tend to have a good memory for dates and events, in fact, I still rely on my mom to call me two days before her birthday each year and remind me that it is in two days, so I should tell her happy birthday when I call. Thank goodness for that, it makes me feel a little less retarded, and keeps her on her toes in that she knows she still has one thing each year that I completely rely on her for (ya know, besides the whole life, support, and any form of money I have thing).
As far as Valentine's day. I feel as though, when younger, it was just death with the whole who got a carnation thing at school, and sort of set out in neon lights the losers (like myself) who had NONE. In fact, others must feel much the same, as they have now started to call it "Single's Awareness Day." At this point, it seems it has become a time that those in relationships are forced to say I love you (even if not forced, it is assumed it is forced because of the stupid day), and those not in them to look at it like a meat market (ya, everybody at the single's awareness party is now a piece of meat). Either way you look at it, the holiday is a joke. Shouldn't we just show our love everyday and remove the pressures of having a "surprise" or "gift" from our loved ones. And, if not A loved one, just make our appreciation to ALL of our loved ones known (no, not in a cheating sense, in a family sense. get your minds out of the gutter). That way, no one feels like a loser, those who honestly are saying I love you will be taken seriously, and no one will have to spend a dime. In fact, I'm all about the cards. A few words (or in my case a lot of them) will do the perfect trick. Let me know how you feel. That's all I ask. That's how I feel about the whole facade of Valentine's Day

Round #3

Rice pudding. Round #3. Complete success and quite delectable! oh ya, and the brown rice runny batch (think that was round #2) found it's way to the toilet today, so we should be all good.

I like to Move it Move it...physically fit, physically fit

Here is a link to my favorite Madagascar clip of all time, and I woke-up this morning with this radiating in my brain. To the point that I found myself doing the egyptian walk out of my doorway into the living room while singing "physicali fit, physicali fit..." It's great. Thought I would share. Most likely because it's still in my head now.

rice pudding...maybe not

Do you ever have one of those days? You get a brilliant idea (or perhaps just a good idea in your head, but you're pretty fond of it) and it just seems as though God is telling you it just shouldn't be happening today? Well, I had one of those the other night.
I got the great idea to make rice pudding in the morning. Had been craving it for some reason, and there are no vegan versions at the store, nor are there any non-vegan versions that are very tasty at all. So, seems I was going to have to make it myself. Well, I needed to go to Wal-Mart, but I rarely have the energy to brave that place myself, so I was going to wait for Rob to get done sleeping and we could go in the afternoon. Of course, as the day goes on and the hours pass, the idea just starts sounding better and better. So even if I wasn't completely convinced when the idea first came into my head, by the afternoon, I was obsessing over it. (I know, my cravings, they're a bit consuming and odd)
Rob gets to my house and I try to convince him that rice pudding sounds really good and that he should share my same level of enthusiasm for the idea of making it. This, however, never really works out (but I try it anyway) and he's a good sport about it, but I can just tell it's not real convinced passion, it's just a front of attempted enthusiasm (but, like I said, I can't complain, he tries). We go to Wal-Mart and get everything we need, normal stuff on the list that I needed as well as a few things for rice pudding. Get all the way home, and realize, I forgot the Soy Milk. Oh man, of all freakin' things to forget, that was pretty much it. Well, now I'm pissed (as pissed as I get) and have my twenty minute annoyance phase. During this time, of course, Rob has offered to go get some, or we can get some later, etc. But, ya know, I just want to be annoyed for a while, and nothing is going to fix the situation.
The twenty minutes pass and I'm over it, and even more determined to make it happen. So, we go and get the milk. Return home and begin to make it. Get all the ingredients stirred in and the rice is still hard (yes, I've been stirring it for like ten minutes already and this just now has registered). Well, that's wierd, I wonder why it's not softening at all. At which point I say to Rob, "and the wierd thing is that all the other recipes say to cook the rice first, but this one didn't." At which point, he looks at me like he knows something I don't and perhaps I'm a bit slow, which was a totally fair look at the time. So, without speaking, I quietly turn around, look at the website again and realize that, no, it doesn't have specific instructions to cook the rice first, but in the ingredients it says, "2 Cups Rice - cooked according to packaging directions." Wow, I'm a moron.
Rob tries to tell me that I should just finish cooking it, and maybe the rice will soften a bit, but I'm completely over it and abandon the pot. Well, he continues stirring it, and it does have a great flavor, but still incredibly crunchy rice.
Okay, round #2: I decide that I'm doing this, I'm going to freakin' make this stuff, no matter what. So, I cook the rice (although now all I have left is brown rice which has a much different and stronger flavor) and begin to add the rest of the ingredients while it's cooking. Add the sugar, the vanilla, mix the cornstarch and begin to pour in the milk. Oh ya, 8 cups of milk doesn't really work when you've already used 4 out of a maybe 64oz. container to begin with. AHHHHHHH, I've had it and I want to quit....No I don't, I really want the pudding, Yes I do, this is clearly not supposed to happen today, No rice pudding for me.
Okay, so now I figure, well, I'll just have the recipe. Pull out 1 cup of sugar and chuck it. Add 1/2 the vanilla. Going to only add 1/2 the cornstarch and begin to pour the milk. Get to 4 cups and there is still some left in the container. What the heck? Have I lost my mind? Was I a moron in my math skills as I was in the recipe reading? CLEARLY, I was, this was not my day.
Well, if there is more in there, just use it, so end up getting 6 cups out of it. That's good, now what to use for the last two? Go digging and find some rice milk. Rice pudding, rice milk, sounds like a good idea, right? NO. Clearly the recipe is not made for that, and the pudding (although it at least now has cooked rice) is very runny and doesn't really set-up as it should. Decent flavor, but awful texture. Needless to say, I accomplished it...I had made two full batches of rice pudding that were completely undesirable. One had crunchy rice (but great flavor), and the other had soft rice (but not so great texture or flavor). Good thing Rob is so supportive and unpicky in his tastes, as he won't let me throw out either batch, and will probably be crunching or drinking his way through rice pudding for a few weeks. At any rate, I'm fully prepared for round #3 that should be taking place in a few days. That is, I am ready to get enough soy milk, white rice that I have pre-cooked in my trusty rice-cooker, and I think it should be a success!! (at least it better be, or I may never eat rice pudding again!)

Midnight Munchies

So my roommate, Ash and I were home doing homework and reading all night. She went into her room to read for a bit, emerged and sat on the couch to type a paper. There we sat, and soon she began to crave pizza (of course it's usually me, but I had already ordered one last night, so my craving was not there for the moment). I laugh and of course we begin to discuss where to order from. I decide that perhaps I could order some breadsticks and that would be good, but then we had to compromise on where to order from for both of us and that of course only complicates the situation. Well she wants Papa Johns pizza, but I want Pizza Hut breadsticks. We look on the Pizza Hut website, and she finds a "natural" pizza (gotta love marketing) that sounds good. So now we are good, and going to order from Pizza Hut.
Pizza Hut has this lovely online ordering option, and so we plug in the pizza order and it comes up for $13. Okay, now Ash debates that it's too much for a pizza and so we decide we don't need it....
5 minutes later...Perhaps it's not too much, let's look at it again, I mean one pizza is like 4 meals worth. Okay, well, let's see how much the breadsticks are. Open the appetizer page to click on the breadsticks and this amazing little picture of some potato bites pops-up. Oh, now we're talkin', those look delicious...Now I'm more in than I was, beginning to crave these potato bites even more now that they could be soon delivered into my hands....No, we don't need to get anything, it's too much money....Yes, it's worth it...No, it's not good for us and it's already late, we just have the munchies....Ya, ya, go for it.
20 minutes later (got preoccupied with a phone call)...Okay, we're doing it, we're going to order. Plug in the pizza, now it's only $9.99, even better. Look for the potato bites, not there. What? They were just there, what the heck? refresh the page, re-click on the option...no potato bites. All the breadsticks in the world, but no potato bites...Okay this is wierd. Go to refresh the page completely from the beginning and Ash is over it and just wants to call and ask. The following conversation ensues (It's on speakerphone):
Pizza Hut (PH): Hello, Pizza Hut, can I help you?
Ash: I'd like to place an order for delivery
PH: Name? (ash answers) Address? (ash answers) Phone? (ash answers)
PH: Okay, what can I get for you?
Ash: ummm, do you have those potato bites for delivery?
PH: No, we don't have those at all, sorry.
Me (background): That's fine, just get your pizza
Ash: Okay, can I get a natural pizza?
PH: Actually, we're all out.
Ash: Um, K, never mind.
PH: Sorry
Ash: No worries, thanks.

If only I had been on the line. Do you understand what just happened? Pretty sure they didn't have either of what we wanted. Okay...potato bites I can understand, perhaps they are a specialty item that are only available at some stores (although they really shouldn't put them on the website and tempt poor souls like myself if that's the case). But, let's reflect a moment. Pizza? They are out of Pizza!? Excuse me, I did call Pizza Hut, correct? They are a restaurant with the name of the establishment having the food item that I ordered in it, and they are out? Ummm, what do you have? How about some shrimp? Oh, ya, got that. NOT REALLY. This is Pizza Hut, folks. It seems to me that when you have run out of pizza you probably have nothing to offer the population who will be calling or attending your fine establishment. So, perhaps, you should, once you run out of your ONLY menu item besides wings (which no one even knows you have in the first place), close your restaurant. Perhaps that would save many awkward phone calls, and next time I'm gonna ask you a few questions about the situation just to clarify exactly what is occurring at the time we spoke. You, PIZZA HUT are out of PIZZA. Okay, makes total sense, thanks for staying at work and answering phone calls. Perhaps this way I at least have an explanation for why I can't get my food, but still not convinced it's worth the conversation.
At any rate, no pizza. Opt for sushi and a seaweed salad instead. Good stuff, hit the spot and probably much healthier in the long run. Thank you Pizza Hut for removing an unhealthy option from my life and allowing me a great laugh in the process!