Just one of those days

So, I went to wal-marte (said with a french accent, because it of course sounds better, but really, why do the french get the credit for having the high quality sort of accent, I really should not partake in the boosting of that stereotype)...and there were NO CARTS!! No hand carts, no shopping carts to be found. Here's how it unfolded...
- walk in and see that one man asks the other man if he can use his cart as he is leaving the store and obvs. done with it. (I think to myself, odd, but perhaps he is too lazy to get his own).
- I walk into the store to the greeter who says "good-night" and find no hand baskets in their yoush (pronounced like "usually" without the end) place by the fantastic plastic looking donuts that are 1/2 off because they've been there a year. (I think odd that the guy just said good night when I was entering, and found it perhaps a new unique welcome I should begin using, and then thought better of it. Next I thought where in the hell are the handbaskets, better go get a cart).
- I walk back out the doors to which I recieve a "good night" again and back into the entry way to get a cart. The man handing out carts is missing and there seem to be no carts for the man, if he were there, to even be handing out. (I think good night is growing on me as a perfect anytime/universal greeting and I also think that perhaps the man who hands out the carts has now moved to greeting and that's why he's so confused as to what to say, then I realize where the hell are the carts?)
- I look again, still no carts. This is Wal-Mart, folks, are you serious?
- I begin to look around for cameras assuming that I must be on candid camera, for this cannot honestly be happening. No cameras, but prepare myself to not look retarded in my following actions, because there is about 100% chance they are there and I have just missed scoping them out.
- Man walks in and his wife asks him to grab a cart. Both look over into the "cart dungeon" (usually filled with dingy, germ infested, silver with purple plastic handle carts) and are surprised at what they see. No carts, of course. At this point, his wife makes the "well, make yourself useful" face and he diligently sets out to find a cart.
- Being the lazy person that I am, and with no one to make the face at me to get me moving, I look out the door and see a man bringing in one row of carts. I patiently wait.
- I get my cart as they rumble through the dungeon and turn around just in time to bump into the man who had set out to make his wife proud, and my approach was clearly the better mode of action.
- No candid camera, man gets his cart, I get my cart...
- of course my cart has one wheel that is frozen straight, and I can't back up nor go forward without a very abrupt course of straight lines and screeching.
- I turn around to change carts, because mine is clearly non-functional and realize the whole row that just came in went out like "fresh meat" at a carnivore party, and all the happy cart-pushing folks are walking by me as though I just got screwed. Well, clearly, they are correct, I did.
- Here we go again, now I kind of wish there was a camera, 'cuz, seriously? Once again, too lazy, and the little cart man is diligently attending to the lack of cart problems and quickly shows up with round #2 delivery.
- I greet him at the end of the dungeon and thank him for round 2, he looks confused, but sort of nods and continues working.
- I get my cart and begin the whole shopping idea one more time, but this time, the rest of the crowd needing carts has grown and as I begin to back up a few steps to push my cart into the store, it as though I am completely in the way and get pushed by the cart-hungry shoppers behind me.
- I manage to fend them off for the moment, push past the donut sleds that are clearly a road-block for parents trying to get kids into the store, and I'm on my way. Jalapeno peppers here I come.
Let me just tell you, the Wal-Mart experience has never let me down. Don't go that often because it is always an "experience" and I'm not always in the mood, but every time I do, it is just such a great snapshot of the American public, that really, how could you go wrong?