WOW, Sometimes I impress myself with my eating skills

Ummm, so let's start out by making sure that you have all seen the taco bell ads for the $1 nachos, and if you haven't, here it is...

So, the average human, would probably be slightly entertained by this ad at most. Perhaps, even a bit disturbed, and shake their head in confusion of what ads have come to. Myself, however, not normal as always, had the complete and opposite response. Basically, I'm the ad target from long ago (including the dang impulse buys in the check-out lines. I thought I was safe in the self-checks, but they have even begun to place small items there as well. But that's off the subject, somewhat). At any rate, I see this ad, I'm home studying for finals (physiology finals nonetheless, ya know, how all our systems work, and it's so intricate and we shouldn't clog them, etc, etc, but clearly i'm rebelling). I not only thoroughly enjoyed the idea behind this commercial (I am a fellow smuggler of candy and 32oz. drinks into movies), but I then began to crave nachos. Now, we all know (or know if you talk to me in the last year or so) that I have gone vegan. This is great and all, but we also all know that I have a ridiculous problem with cravings (and, no, nothing even close to relating to that time of the month, just simply crave random foods pretty much at all times). Well, fast-food commercials are about the one thing that can get me craving the latest sandwich or special at any hour, and craving them to the point where I will actually get off the couch and go get them at any hour. Oh man, So great, and really so bad all at the same time. I now proceed with my confession of my actions following said commercial...
-Salivating, watching the TV 100% intrigued, and actually a bit sad when the pictures of the nachos in that lovely little globe display disappeared (kind of reminded me of a snowglobe).
-Thought how good those would be, and how much I didn't need them, and how much they would just clog my "renal filtration" system right up with the sodium, and my aldosterone levels would increase, as well as my ADH, causing me thirst and much glomerular filtration rate increase all due to the salt. (clearly, I know my stuff for the final)
- Next, began to study again, having succeeded in the convincing. Well, for a few seconds.
- Can't stop thinking about the nachos...3 different kinds, each with different layers of flavors, savory taco bell "butt meat" and cheese, not real cheese, the completely artificial, absolutely cannot ever be replaced with real cheese, cheese. The best cheese around. K, so now it's getting harder to convince.
- Next step, realizing that I would have to take the dogs out, put them in their crates, find my wallet, put on shoes, put on a bra (or at least a large hoodie), and get in my cold car. This was not worth it. At least not in the next five seconds.
- It's worth it, That cheese, that meat, so pristine and such a good deal. All less than a dollar!? Wow, that right there is a statement for the quality of the ingredients. Top notch fake fast-food, all artifical, all preservatives, all a small slice of heaven.
- So it's done. No more convincing, it has clearly not worked.
- Do all of the things I listed I thought I would have to do (opted for the hoodie over the bra)
- Get in the car and drive 10 minutes to taco bell. Pull to the drive thru, and of course, should have expected it, I just can't decide.
- I know begin to get nervous, I won't be satisfied 'cuz I won't know what I left untasted. And, not just in the nacho category, but in all of the heavenly pictures on that plastic drive-thru screen category.
- I begin to order, 1 of each of the three nacho types. Should suffice..would suffice, for the normal person, but once again, that person I am not....Order a crunchy taco, but what about the soft? Get a soft taco. then remember the perfect combination of crunchy and soft tacos in that pie sort of thing they put out a while ago, the crunchwrap supreme. Oh, but then the dessert. Those stupid carmel apple empanadas, gotta have that. Of course, a diet coke. I think I'm done. Yup, "that's it" I tell the lady, who will probably die of shock when I drive up to the window and she sees that a single person has just ordered all of this. She preceeds to repeat my order (prob trying to hint that it is not normal nor healthy, but who is she to judge)....
one of each of the $1 nachos, three total. One crunchy taco, one soft taco, one crunchwrap supreme, and one caramel apple empanada.
- Sounds good, I think we're set. But, no, certainly need a drink, and they only have pepsi products, and diet pepsi is not good, so have to go with the mountain dew. Next, see the final "beef n' cheesy" nachos (not $1, but amazing in the picture). I quickly say, ya, and can you add a mountain dew and the beef n' cheesy nachos.
- last two important parts added to the delightful order, and I feel great. I pay at the window, hoping she thinks I have a lot of people at home to help me eat this, cuz if she doesn't, then she's onto me, and that is embarassing.
-Drive home, trying not to dig into the bag in the car, and man that was a fight, but I managed.
-get back upstairs and proceed to eat all, every freaking bite of that order, up until the beef n' cheesy nachos. Had about 1/2 of those and called it good, as the coma had started to set in, I couldn't make it.
- Huge dent in the order though, did a good job, and at this point, I'm going to sign off as my belly is overhanging my keyboard and I feel as though I should prob lay down before it all begins to come back up. Wow, it was great.
Love the nacho coma, thank you taco bell, for satisfying cravings like mine all hours of the day, all over the nation.