A Shortened Forward

No camera cord yet (sorry, it is coming, I swear)....
However, I did get this forward today from my friend Kerri and some parts of it are quite true. I don't know who wrote it, so I can't give them credit, but here were my favorite parts:
1) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

2) More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own
story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

3) Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize
you're wrong.

4) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was
younger.

5) Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix
the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just
figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

6) There is a great need for sarcasm font.

7) How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

8) I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take
2 trips to bring my groceries in.

9) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I?m trying to finish a
text.

10) Was learning cursive really necessary?

11) How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

12) Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I
will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had
to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as
in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

13) While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively
swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

14) MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know
how to get out of my neighborhood.

15) If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
probably just be completely invisible.

16) Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around
and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous?
Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a
problem....

17) I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!),
but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to
voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run
away?

18) The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they
had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at
the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then
estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such
a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There?s nothing
like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

So True. (if you want the whole forward, I'd be happy to send it to you. Otherwise, hope you enjoyed the highlights.)