Can you tell I'm not studying again?

K, I just found this website while taking a break from studying called textsfromlastnight.com (TFLN - if you want to be cool with the lingo). At any rate, here were a few of my favorites. Oh, and just a warning, it is not a censored website, so although hilarious, may not be the most clean. And, if you don't get it, these are just random texts that people have gotten and found funny, so posted. Context is not known.

- so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

- I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA

- Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the snow.

- went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

- Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.

- I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?

- you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

- this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.

- I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.

- i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".