Hello weatherman...what is your prediction?

Hello weatherman, have you even been attempting to predict the weather lately? I must admit, I stopped watching you years ago after you told me it was supposed to be nice in Logan, UT and my boogers froze clear into my sinuses on the walk to school the next morning. I suppose, to me, you just got my hopes up that I might have a snot-free walk, and day after day, you were wrong. I would get to the top of old main and either be dripping in sweat with the crack sweat line, the pit tacos, and a beet red face because you told me it was supposed to be a nice cool morning and I was way overdressed or I would be shivering uncontrollably, my lungs frozen, and using my icicle hands to attempt and thaw my boogers before chipping them off in the bathroom. Basically, you lost all credibility, and I lost all faith. In short, I have slowly regained faith in "local on the 8's" in the past week. Why? Because you predicted this great nonsense weather starting two weeks ago, and this time, it was pure miracle you got it right...what happened, you ask? Well, let me tell you...
It snowed, about 1 foot in the valley a week and a half ago, and it came out of nowhere. What the HECK was that all about?!!? Well, it recovered, you recovered, I recovered, when it began to be sunny again. The whole fluke of 65 high monday, CRAP STORM tuesday, and 72 high on wednesday was NUTSO!! But, you predicted it, perfectly on time. Perfectly to the point where I cashed in the flip-flops for boots on that tuesday morning walk to school, and man did I thank you for it. Well, I am now here to say that I hope spring is here to stay....It's been 70's for the past week, and supposed to be 78 and 79 highs for the next two days, and not much lower from there on out. Basically, I love it, I love it, and I love it. HOWEVER....
Let me tell you that my apartment is just a bit backwards on the whole save energy and money thing. Also, they are a bit behind on the whole turn on the freakin' AC thing. I'll address the save energy and money first.
It has just begun to be sunny. So, of course, due to the sheer logic by which my apartment complex operates, I should have known we would get a notice on the door. And what does it say? Well, of course: Third level apartments will be having INSULATION installed in the attics for the next three days between the times of 8:00am-6:00pm, please leave doors unlocked. Well, first, pretty much the easiest target for any neighborhood theif with any brains (which usually they have none, so we should be safe), as any third floor apartment will be unlocked for the next three days, please walk in. Secondly, how in the world did they decide that now, after winter has ended, is a great time to put up insulation. Thirdly, I arrive home to a SNOWSTORM, manmade, in my apartment. It appears that they "shoot" the insulation into the attics (in my bedroom of course) through tubes at high pressure, which, also, should have guessed, would have a HOLE in the tube. Ya know, most of it still gets "shot" into the areas it should, so no need to replace the tube. Also, no need to replace the carpeting and clothes that the "hole" has made into a snowglobe. Basically, the notice on the door should have read..."Third floor apartments, if you would like to experience what it feels like to live in a real snowglobe, please leave your door unlocked for the next three days (yes, robbers, it's true, you should come try the snowglobe effect) and we will provide that for you free of charge!!
Subject number two, now that you live on the third floor, and it is summer, and 70 degrees outside, meaning it is 100 degrees in your apartments (yes, folks, it's true. Heat does indeed rise), we would like to come put in insulation. But, don't worry, we will just keep all that heat in there real good, because we won't turn on the AC yet. The AC will not be turned on until Eve Hackett has thrown a fit at midnight after rolling around in her bed for two hours without even a sheet on, all the windows open, the fan on, and is still sweating like a whore in church. Basically, we need to see the physical evidence that her bed has become a sess pool of sweat before we will turn it on. Also, if she leaves perhaps three messages on the emergency maintenance line at midnight that she is DYING of heat, then we may contemplate turning it on. Until then "fry like piggies you freshman bitches," (to take the line of the best movie ever) and after a week of dehydration due to sweat lost while sleeping, and four days of high-70's we have finally turned on the AC. YEE-HAW!!!! (p.s. I'm sure the only reason had to have been that I met all their criteria for the switch with flying colors)
All in all...have restored all faith in the weather man/woman, and now have a lovely artificial cool breeze to keep me using my sheet and perhaps even a light blanket all night. Spring, I'm ready and you better be here to stay, 'cuz I'm packin' up the snowboots. Oh ya, and the snowglobe, if you ever get the offer, it's not fun in real life when the real life location happens to be your bedroom and all your stuff. Beware, the notices may not be as fun and exciting as they seem to portray. And yes, robbers must still be pretty dumb (thankfully).